I have received 2 emails like the one above and 1 person take me aside in the gym to say something similar all within the last month.
Its amusing, as the universe seems to have a good knack of knowing when to send these messages along – usually at a time when I feel like burning the gym down and going to work in an office and running away from the self induced mania that being self employed cultivates.
I’m just like everyone else, going through my own day to day struggles and feedback like this really makes it all worthwhile – so thank you.
There have been too many times in my life, at home and abroad where everything seemed to be falling asunder for me and the only respite was going to the gym. It has been a safe haven for me numerous times and it really makes me happy and fulfilled to know I can provide that environment for others.
Bring a self critical perfectionist, it is hard not to take what I do personally. I have heard the old saying that ‘business isn’t personal’ more times than I care to remember but the fact of the matter is, when you are dealing with people and invest everything into it, it is personal. I have talked about this before, whatever I lack in my own confidence or belief, I love to be able to help instil that in others or at least give them the push they need to build upon their own self belief.
So when folks leave my gym (which happens, it isn’t all success stories!) and especially when they just disappear, it does hurt me. I feel like I have failed that person and I have fucked up. As time goes on I realise that not everyone is ready to commit to a change but regardless, I feel like I have been unable to make an impact for someone that needed it.
(and it goes without saying, the door is always open for folks that are looking to return and have another crack at it)
Speaking only for myself, being hyper critical and full of self doubts, the only way to build any sort of confidence is to get doing. Even taking small steps forward. There truly is never a good time to start, people fall into the trap of waiting for one and what happens instead is that folks go so far backwards that they get to a point that is more or less rock bottom and only then are compelled or scared into action. The key is trying to get moving regardless of circumstances.
We are flooded with motivational messages daily and advertisements for self help books – which we have to remember is a booming industry in this day and age and the emphasis is on sales (and preying on insecurities – and fuck knows there are plenty of them going around the world today).
I see numerous self help gurus extolling the virtues of a positive go-get-em attitude 24/7 but with all of the top coaches I have traveled to around the world, not one person has their shit 100% together and if they say they do, they’re lying. All that bullshit is managing to do is put a lot of pressure and anxiety upon people that are already struggling and making things feel worse for them.
We are all facing our daily struggles, the only way to get out of them is to voluntarily act, do something not collect motivation memes or self help books. We are oversaturated with information in this day and age – less is more, it is actually uncommon now to take action and work towards a goal. All of the emphasis is on preparing to get ready to get started on working towards a goal, which is fuck all use really.
Do, make mistakes, re-evaluate, learn, keep going. It also helps to work towards something you actually like doing, so you will enjoy the process that little bit more. And don’t feel pressurised into trying to do or be something that doesn’t resonate with you (they are YOUR goals after all).
I have huge respect for folks that are fighting their demons and getting up and battle through everyday regardless. Its all we can do, one foot in front of the other! And encouraging each other won’t hurt either. The small, consistent steps really do lead to big changes.
Shit, that did get a little ‘self empowering’ towards the end…